Well I have decided to make this a series of sorts....there is just way to much information that I would like to share to put this in just a couple of posts. So bear with me I will finish "the rest of the story"....eventually!
The very first thing that Dr. Warnock made me promise to do (notice, he didn't ask, he made me promise!) was to quit smoking!
I don't think the man knew how many times that I had tried that in the past! I had been smoking for 13 years at this point. I smoked a pack and a half a day! (That's 30 cigs per day) I was spending over $300 a month in cigarettes alone.
Smoking was what I did...most of my friends, co-workers and family smoked! I smoked when I was upset, nervous, depressed, bored, happy, worried, mad, furious...you name it I could come up with a reason to walk out side and light up. My favorite thing to do was take my current read, go sit out in my Jeep and just read and smoke for 30 minutes. I used smoking as an excuse, a reason, a crutch, a hobby, an escape!
If you can't tell this was a huge step for me...and although it really doesn't have anything to do with gastric bypass...it was part of my journey...an important part!
I was truly terrified on my walk out of Dr. Warnock's office. My husband was with me for this all important visit. He listens intently to whatever my doctors say and he makes sure that I follow their instructions....even the ones I would prefer to ignore! So even though Dr. Warnock didn't realize it, he had one very determined husband agreeing with everything he said!
My husband had been trying to get me to quit smoking for the whole 6 years of our marriage. I had tried the patch, the anti-depressants, the little pills, cold turkey...you name it...if I could afford it and my cigarettes that week I tried it. But none of them worked because I didn't want to quit bad enough. I LOVED to smoke...as sad as that may seem...that is the truth of the matter.
But do know what the amazing thing about this whole story is??? When I made up my mind....I laid those cigarettes down...and I QUIT. As of October 10, 2008 a cigarette has not touched my lips....not ONE!
I didn't have bad withdrawals...just a headache for a couple of days. The amazing thing to me was the amount of time that I had been wasting! I was always going outside. I didn't enjoy my daughter. I didn't take the time to converse with my husband. I burnt things I was cooking. I didn't get any house work done. I didn't enjoy my hobbies.
My problem was that I didn't know how to relax. I had no idea what to do to wind down after a day at work....I had to find something to do! So I started taking long hot baths....I would fill my tub up with super warm water, light my candles, grab a book, close out the world and sink down into that water and just relax. After 2 1/2 years...that is what I still do every night before I go to bed.
I then began noticing things that I didn't notice before.....I could smell again! I didn't realize how badly cigarette smoke smells! My Jeep smelled, my clothes my hair, my coats, my CHILD.....everything smelled! It is a good thing that I never smoked in my home...I would have had to desmoke everything! I can still walk by someone and be able to tell if they smoke or not. I also realized that I am allergic to cigarette smoke! Who would have thought???
Well as you can tell....I fulfilled my promise to Dr. Warnock!
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| Fat enough to play Santa at a Christmas Parade 2007 |
Until next time! God Bless, Mama D
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